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Grief is a physical change in the brain. This matters for HR leaders and managers because grief doesn’t just affect how people feel. It affects how they think, decide, and perform. And when that’s misunderstood, organizations manage the symptoms instead of the cause. Most leaders are operating with an outdated understanding of how grief works. They, like most of us, want to do the right thing. They want to be respectful. They want work to feel supportive, not intrusive. And y

Grief is a physical change in the brain! This matters for HR leaders and managers because grief doesn’t just affect how people feel. It affects how they think, decide, and perform. And when that’s misunderstood, organizations manage the symptoms instead of the cause. Most leaders are operating with an outdated understanding of how grief works. They, like most of us, want to do the right thing. They want to be respectful. They want work to feel supportive, not intrusive. And y

It was November.  7 months after Art died. The kids and I drove to my cousin’s ranch.  It’s usually a 7-hour trip with one stop and two drivers. It was now a 9-hour trip with one driver. And I kept reaching for my phone to call him to tell him where we were and how much farther we had to go. The next day, after we arrived, I let my 7 ½-year-old drive one of the ranch's ATVs. He looked tiny sitting on it. His hands were barely big enough to squeeze the brakes. But his thumb wa

Most leaders think the biggest risk after an employee death is saying the wrong thing. It’s not. The bigger risk is doing nothing while everyone waits for direction. The first 48 hours after a death are full of good intentions and bad assumptions. Leaders care. HR cares. Managers care. And still, avoidable mistakes show up again and again because grief makes everyone cautious, emotional, and unsure of the rules. Here are the most common ways organizations stumble in that wind

Stop saying, "Take all the time you need." It's not helpful to you or to them. When an employee returns to work after a death, most leaders feel unsure. They don’t want to say the wrong thing. They don’t want to overwhelm them. And they’re trying to keep work moving. Here’s what research tells us. Grief impacts:   concentration  memory energy  processing speeds emotional regulation  and decision-making. It can even create safety risks in manufacturing and airline roles. So th

That’s what layoffs feel like—cold, numbing and isolating. Amazon just announced 14,000 layoffs. UPS 48,000 this year. Intel has been "restructuring" for over a year.  Accenture just added 50,000 to that number.  . When someone loses their job, as a colleague or friend, we often rush to fix it. We send job postings. We say, *"Everything happens for a reason."* We talk about "silver linings" or "opportunity for growth." And we need to stop doing that.  As an HR professional

Do you have a pen and paper handy? You might need it when you ... take your friend to a doctor's appointment! Act of Love #15 If your...

Today marks 16 years since Art died.    When he died, the world didn't stop. I didn't expect it to, but I wished it, I begged it to, for...

When someone on your team experiences a death — a colleague, a loved one, or even a client — everything changes. But most leaders and HR...

The recent wildfires have devastated communities. The aftereffects of the fires are not just about the immediate physical destruction but...

When a beloved colleague dies, the impact reverberates across the workplace in profound and, sadly, often unexpected ways. Grief in the...

I was at Trader Joe's on Saturday, buying food for the meal I would make for the Death and Dying Dinner Party I was hosting that night....

Last Wednesday, I celebrated a milestone birthday. I've been lucky enough to work for companies where birthdays are a big deal! It's nice...

As a leader, making mistakes is part of the job.   And like mistakes in general, some mistakes are more costly than others.   ...

Not knowing what to say to a grieving friend, colleague, or team member can knock even the most confident person's confidence. There are...

This box. Big gifts can come in small, thoughtful, hand-folded packages. Eleven days after Art died, one of his students sent this to me....

My husband and I were living in Vegas. We had just had our second child. A fender bender months earlier caused him to pass out when he...

Gratitude lists. Do you do them? Do you try to do them? Every day, I write ten things I am grateful for in a gratitude notebook....

I’m gonna start this year off by being the idiot. Why? Because Unemployment is at an all-time low. (Finding a replacement is no longer...

My cousin owns a 90-acre ranch in Amador County. Our family has been going there for 20 years. (Since Ezra was 1.) Some of Art's ashes...

Holiday Party 2015 Let's NOT Talk About Grief: Conversation Starters for The Awkward As an extrovert ( a person who gets her energy from...

#TuesdayTipDay Does anyone else feel like Halloween was only two weeks ago?🙄 Since the holiday season is upon us, Act of Love #69 is all...

Today marks 365 days since I had knee replacement surgery! And as I sat down to write something about it, I realized I had learned a few...

How to be a Human Being Not A Human Doing Today is Tuesday Tip Day! And I'm going to share with you how to be a human BEING instead of a...